Running diary: The Duel

Pre-questions: I'm disappointed already: this show would be better if someone had to earn the jackpot. This show looks ridiculous. Decision made to write running diary. Hello again.

The rules: You play a "duel" against another person. Both players have 10 chips to begin with. For each question, you have to have a chip on the right answer, or you lose. You can put a chip on and cover as many answers as you want, and for every wrong answer you cover, you lose. There are 4 possible answers. Once you run out of chips, you lose. You can press someone, and then they have 7 seconds to put their chips down. The idea is to make them waste as many chips as possible, or to get them to not cover the right answer

7:06:Internet censor? Fuck you! Hahaha, there's porn on the internet. Funny remark wannabe Maury Povich. Is Marco for real? I would have picked Jim. Even if Jim has gotten both Karen and Pam, he seems really, really dumb. Oh wait, wrong show.

7:07: First question: Honestly, I don't know the answer, all of them?

7:08: Marco just said "yeah, baby."This show seems trashy like Weakest Link. Or Jerry Springer. But the answer is definitely 10.

7:09: Sue isn't smart.

7:10 : Seriously?

7:11: Marco's from the hood, he doesn't know. Oh wait, the kid from the hood knows sarcasm! What a funny guy? Meanwhile, we've had 3 questions, and 3 quips about Marco's from the hood.

7:15: Marco...damn. This isn't a game show, it's UFC, muthafucka!

7:16. The whole pressing thing really does make it seem like an oval. But since when can dogs sniff disease? Fuck doctors, I want a dog! Actually, I thought the answer was smallpox.

7:18: Marco's a baller. I'll be sad to see him go. (Apparently, they don't know Rod Stewart or Lyle Lovett in the hood. References to the hood = 5) He'll defiantly say "PEACE!" though. I want to kill Sue though.

7:19: What a strategically timed commercial! 19 minutes in, and I'm already thinking of switching to Countdown.

7:22: Looks like ABC hasn't been hurt by the writer's strike. These commercials make me forget that Pushing Daisies is on ABC too.

7:23: I can see the producers of this show thinking "how can we incorporate ultimate fighting into a game show?" and this is what they came up with.

7:25: He just said reality check. They got some Clueless in there too.

7:26: Tough choices. Pat looks like the stereotypical dumb guy, but he's a software engineer who homeschools his kids. But I'm afraid of him. Denise seems kinda ditzy too. I'd go with the author.

7:30: Every choice has the highest of stakes. Um, what?

7:31: Denise the attorney! It seems like they only want 13 year old 50 Cent fans on this show.

7:34: Sue is a bitch. Kinda like ike Daria on steroids.

7:36: Sue is about to cry.

7:37: That Mountain Dew commercial just made me laugh out loud. That was absolutely ridiculous. I kept waiting for Mr. Miyagi to pop out. Oh wait? It's Diet Pepsi? But Mountain Dew is so....extreme!

7:38: When I'm under pressure...I reach for a Diet Pepsi. I will not back down. I will persevere. I will crush your kittens. But I need to watch my calories.

7:40: Oh wait, I totally forgot they were supposed to be under pressure.

7:41: You see, there's game theory involved. Ideally, if there was no limit on cYou want to only bet one each time, and on the right answer, while the other person puts chips in until a) there's a lot of money in the jackpot and b) they have to know the answer each time or they'll be wasting chips. Isn't it 8 minutes and some seconds?

7:42: What are you doing Sue? You need to intimidate!

7:43: Beats me.

7:45: Thanks, captain obvious. Sue is about to have a panic attack. My guess is Macy's.

7:47: Denise for MVP of the show! It took 47 minutes of the show's lifetime, and she's already sick of the show! And she's on the show!

7:49: Just checked out The Duel's on line game. You get a multiple choice question, and have to cover what you think might be right with chips, and can be a contender, champion, or master. Like Mr. Miyagi! You can play either solo, or challenge someone. I wonder if you can taunt and say you're from the hood.

7:50: Another Bring It On! Are you a middle school girl? There's a movie being made for you!

7:52: You have to register to challenge someone. I guess we'll never know how many times I can say I'm from the hood before I crack under the pressure.

7:53: I would have covered Macy's and Montgomery Ward.

7:54: Sue has a burgeoning career as an NFL analyst after this performance. John Madden, will the team who scores more win, or lose?

7:55: This host doesn't shoot the shit! He just bitch-slapped Sue.

7:57: Pat the dumb looking software agent is back for more! Monica, the student! Robert, a Canadian, no, Canada Kentuckyian, used car salesman! Pat's kids are named Maximillian and Leonardo. Monica can burp. Robert's from Meathead Hole and is a self-professed hillbilly.

7:59: My god, this host just gives it to the contestants.

8:03: When did ABC air soap operas in prime time?

8:04: No, you don't mess with Denise? She picks Monica because she likes her dress - even though she's a student and she's studying all the time.

8:05: Monica is a single mom. Awwwwwwwwwwww. What a touching tribute to her son. And she said "let's duel"

8:08: I just got the pun. It's duel, like the name of the show, and dual, like there's multiple things you have to add. Hahahahahahahaha. Ha.

8:11: They're trying to make the host as much of an asshole as possible. They can't actually think this is dramatic, right?

8:15: The Coast Guard? The Coast Guard is part of our country's armed forces?

8:16: Screen up please! Now for the question...what color are President George W. Bush's eyes? These questions, brought to you by Capitol Hill Tiger Beat!

8:18: Someone in the background just said Ohhhhhh!" like he was trying to get on camera in Total Request Live. He loves his Fitty.

8:21: of Montreal shilling Outback Steakhouse. It still amazes me. I also think I should say something about Sweeney Todd, but I don't know what. And I don't think The Duel is intense.

8:24: Monica wins because Denise is a Democrat (the answer was blue, Denise covered everything). After winning, Monica fell out of her chair, thanked God, and started crying. The game theory there: You can cover all the answers and know you're right, or cover only the one or two you think is right. If you both choose the former, then it's a tie and you go again. If you do the latter, and have different answers, then either you win, or your lose.

8:26: Jim, the fire captain from El Segundo is back! Julie the homemaker, but watch out, she taught herself how to read music in a month! Robert the hillbilly is back again too! Julie stuttered. And Cletus can't tie a tie.

8:29: We'll find out who Denise picks....tomorrow! It seems like they wanted to give the host an "edge", but thought it would be a good idea to up the "drama" element, which just turns out to be too many commercials (come on, you need to be able to critically engage this show for it to work!). A lot like Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, but on sedatives. Oh wait, wasn't there supposed to be fighting?

Grade: C-

I cave to public pressure....JILL

What is it about baseball that makes usually rationally people (read: me) entirely stupid and superstitious? More importantly, how much baseball karma is really floating around? I just imagine these little dudes wearing tiny hats running into each other, colliding like atoms. It seems kind of cool.

Just a side note: if you can get your girlfriend to watch baseball with you, it's absolutely amazing.

I was going to do this before, but more expansive. Your loss.

The top 3 beverages of all-time:
Milk
Birch Beer
Cream Soda

It's been a while, I apologize

Everyone always says it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. What about the converse? Is it worse to have lost and gained than to have never lost at all? I'm not sure if that's true. When you get what you wanted after losing, it feels all the better getting it. But who really wants to suffer? Chicken and the egg, man. Chicken and the egg.

But the four day week is an undeniably nice thing

The three day weekend really is an interesting beast. Namely, what to do with Sunday? Given that Thursday night is the new Friday, Sunday becomes the fourth consecutive weekend day on a three day weekend (except for those for whom Sunday is the new Thursday, which will probably be the new rage by the end of next year). And that's almost too much weekend. If you're out partying over half the week anyway, what do you really need a break from? There's no longer a necessity for a weekend if you're taking a break from the partying to work.

The silent beauty of Sundays was that it was really designed for the college student. It's just a day to work. Other people can watch football, go gardening, whatever, but it's the most convenient day possible for a college student. No real obligation in terms of classes, but you know you can't be incapacitated the next morning. The three day weekend kind of ruins that.

Not that it's a bad thing. It's a very, very, good thing.

And that's how we got the Constitution

It's funny how whenever there's a group decision made, personal interests always come into play. It seems inseparable. Of course, this becomes a problem when personal satisfaction won't necessarily bring about group satisfaction. Recusal needs to become an option more often. Would it improve America? Yes, yes it would.

But football players were already fat!

If 60% of a baseball team's bullpen was found to be on steroids, it would be front page news. So what happens when news breaks that 3 starting linemen, among other players on the 2004 Carolina Panthers, were using steroids that year? Well, nothing. Maybe baseball players are just held to higher standards. Either way, it's total hypocracy that baseball players get exorciated just for playing in the "steroid era," but a team that makes the Super Bowl isn't criticized at all for using steroids.